7 Grounds for divorce that can be avoided

7 Grounds for divorce that can be avoided

 Below are various grounds for divorce and how to avoid getting there. In this article you will learn the commonest causes of divorce and how they can be avoided. 

Divorce is the legal termination of a marriage. It usually comes from desertion or a total break down of the marriage. It also terms from lack of desire of both parties to continue the union as husband and wife. 

A well managed home won't be talking about grounds for  divorce, also if both spouses are keen on making the marriage work, divorce will be the last option on their list. 

The care free attitude most couples give their spouse is a common ground for divorce. 

grounds for divorce
Marriage which is the foundation of the society and good grooming have suffered a lot of drawbacks as a result of the several divorce proceedings in the law courts. Young couples enter marriage with a mentality that once there is a problem, the next option available to them is to pull out and move on with their lives.

 The sacredness of marriage have been violated, the longevity of marriage is no longer cherished. Don’t you wonder why some very sweet relations go sour all of a sudden, how sweethearts become bitter hearts, love birds become wolf mates, sugar canes turn bitter canes, all these are as a result of mindset that young couples enter the marriage with. 

The introduction and practice of the provisions of the various laws regulating dissolution of marriage have made it easier for couples to wake up one day and decided to end a sweet and moving marriage even when you hardly find legitimate grounds for divorce.

The attitude of couples to one another is a contributing factor to the spread of divorce. The nonchalant attitudes, entering into marriage with a false mentality, seeing marriage as an investment opportunity, many see it as a way to defraud their spouses of fortunes. 

Anyone with this kind of mindset and reasoning can never last in marriage. Marriage requires a lot of giving and sacrifices. Taking the oath and exchanging vows on the altar transcends the mere uttering of those words, it is a lifetime promise made to sustain and preserve the marriage against all odds. 

The lack of accountability and responsibility in marriages have made many marriages to miss out on the forever element. Many wonders why their marriages have turned sour despite their hard works and commitments, some point accusing fingers on their spouses as been the major cause of the breakdown of the marriage without taking out time to know if the major problem in the marriage is from them.

 The concept of self assessment and self growth is a vital component in the home as it helps both the married and the intending couples to checkmate and be on their toes to make sure that everything in the marriage is working as it ought to be.

There is no perfect marriage, but it takes two hearts in love to pull through against all odds, your willingness to make the marriage work despite the storms encountered in marriage. Many grounds for divorce are actually avoidable if spotted early and sorted out.

 No doubt there must be storms in marriage because it is an institution which determines the stability or otherwise of the society, so it is prone to attacks from different forces. 

There is definitely no smoke without fire, the total break down in marriage has its causes which as mostly overlooked by the couples. Some tag it as their way of life which cannot be changed while others see it as an unnameable habit. 

These root causes are the grounds for divorce and many marriages catastrophe, some end up burning out the fire that have been sustaining the marriage, others just remain in the marriage to maintain the idea of been married. 

Here are some of the grounds for divorce which if careful attention is given to will reduce the rate of divorce in the country:

1. Total breakdown of communication is the life wire of every relationship, it sustains the relationship and keeps it going. Communication in a relationship can be verbal or by conduct. By verbal, it means through spoken words and be conduct it can be by your body language and responses. 

The ability to express yourself either by spoken words or body language sustains a relationship. Most times, unexplained issues, unspoken words give a negative impression to a relationship. Sometimes when this communication skills are wrongly applied, it mars the relationship instead of helping it to grow. 

The inability to rightly apply this helping communication skill have thrown many relationships into a ditch. Imagine where a wife is hurt without communicating same to her husband, she carries the hurt to sleep, and it keeps piling up to the point where it becomes a reason to file divorce, also imagine a situation where the husband bears grudges against the wife and carries same in his heart for a long time, this can make him to seek for comfort outside his home. 

There is no wrong that cannot be righted it wholly depends on the individuals in the marriage. The ability to communicate ill feelings helped a lot of deed relationships to bounce back to life. 

Sometimes you may want your spouse to act or treat you in a particular manner and instead of communicating same to them, you use the ‘They should know’ approach to bury an important aspect of your relationship. Where communication is lacking, the relationship is as good as been dead because a lot of significant issues are swallowed up and there is no room for amendments.

 The breakdown in communication can make sweethearts to be far at heart, some even resort to No communication, they use silence to communicate their grievances. Silence have never been a tool for resolution of conflicts and the best way to sustain a relationship is to have and maintain a healthy communication lifestyle

2. Substitution strategy

This another ground for divorce, this strategy is where you replace your spouse with another thing. This is trying to avoid spending time with your spouse by trying to keep yourself occupied with some other things instead of spending quality time with our spouse. Some people occur themselves with work so that thy can be absent from home, some take overtime even where no pay is involved just to be away from their spouses.

 This replacement technique kills marriages faster than anything, the presence of a human is replaced with inanimate thing.

This substitution strategy can also be employed by spending quality time with the opposite s*x so as not to create time for your loved one. This attitude steals the love and bonds away, it creates a distance in the heart and reduces the joy that comes with bonding. Issues are never solved from this strategy but deepens the enmity instead of healing it. Instead of avoiding your spouse why not look for the root cause of the issue and tackle it thereby restoring the love, harmony, friendship and bonds that have earlier existed between you two.

 In the early years of marriage especially the first few months, there is a sweetness that fills the relationship, the desire of every right thinking couple is to maintain the fire that ignites that sweetness not looking for a replacement at a little misunderstanding. Avoid this substitution tactics ad say goodbye to divorce forever, Marriage is a very sweet union while not make yours sweeter.

3. Having your own room

This is the first step of divorce, the moment you have and feel the urge to have your privacy in your marriage home, it is a sign of an upcoming divorce proceeding. You desire to sleep in a separate room and on a separate bed, your spouses’ sleeping posture irritates you, their smell disgusts you. You demand they take permission before entering your so-called private room, you request they give you a prior notice before you oblige them s*x in your new room.

 This and many more are the causes of divorce. This treatment can make your spouse see themselves as strangers in the home, no stranger can stay long in a place where he is not welcomed. The separate room attitude can push your spouse into finding joy and pleasure outside the matrimonial home. 

The early part of the marriage was more of cuddling and wanting to share every moment together, but now unresolved issues have pushed you into wanting a separate room which if not handled earlier can drive your spouse away. 

To some who cannot afford a large apartment, they resort to sleeping on the couch to avoid spending or sharing the same bed with their spouse. If issues are resolved, if differences are communicated with open heart, no one will want to sleep in a different room or even prefer the couch to a bed, while not open to those issues and enjoy your marriage with the husband of your youth.

4. Denying your spouse the other room duties

Denying your partner in the other room duties is one of the major grounds for divorce in our society. Ideally, these duties in the other room is supposed to keep the fire in the marriage burning and glowing. No marriage can strive without it. It bonds, unifies, strengthens, creates an unending closeness and sweetness in marriage and lack of it can be the beginning of problems. 

It is universally approved to be enjoyed by married couples and denial can be a ground under the law for dissolution of marriage. 

Starving your spouse of their conjugal right can not be a way to resolve an issue rather it builds up the issue and gives room for other vices that can lead to separation of the marriage. These conjugal right is a duty spouses owe each other and should not be denied under any circumstances. It should not be a tool for revenge or to make monetary demands or other unnecessary demands and is to be enjoyed in marriage with your spouse, try out new positions, explore other ways to satisfy your spouse, and you will see your marriage blossom and the fondness will be renewed again.

5. Unrealistic expectations

Some persons enter marriage a false expectation. Some want the marriage to be all rosy and without any problem, while others want their spouse to remain the same, there are certain changes that come with marriage which is inevitable. For instance, it is practically impossible for a woman to have the same shape after giving birth, same with a man who toils day and night to make ends meet for the family. Some men measure their wives with other women outside and women expect their husband’s back account to remain bloated. There are certain uncertainties in marriage which are better managed with understanding and perseverance. High expectations are met when couples work as a team with the sole aim of reaching and achieving their goals. Cut those unrealistic expectations off and focus on building a successful home with your spouse

6. Having a separate bank account

As a team with a given set of goal, there is no need maintaining separate accounts. Even if there is need for a separate account, there should be a joint account which is for the upkeep and well-being of the family. There is no gain saying the fact that if you have genuine intentions for your home, maintaining a joint account with your spouse is and should be your primary goal. Cash starving your spouse is another form and end product of maintaining a separate account. Do not be the Judas in your marriage, ride your marriage with ease and enjoy the blessings that come with marriage.

7. Interference by middle men

By definition, marriage is the legal union of two persons for life to the exclusion of others. The exclusion of others here means friends, family, relations, work colleagues and other acquaintances. You cannot say you want peace in your home when you share your marriage issues and secrets with friends and relatives. You do not seek advice from external parties when you know such advice is toxic to your marriage relationship. You do not discuss your spouse as this is a channel that can breed divorce suggestions. Guard your home jealously, protect each other’s secrets and watch each other’s backs. No one can be a better confidant than your spouse because he/she chose you from the crowd. Sieve out chaff from your marriage and enjoy marital bliss.

In conclusion, we have taken careful look at 7 grounds for divorce. Some of them may look too easy or mild and you'll wonder if they can actually lead to the break down of the union that used be the sweetest thing in your life. The truth is the mildest things not properly handled can wreck your marriage. If you are guilty of any of the above, why not make it a duty to work things out and prevent that imminent divorce.

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